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About Robert Baird

Short: FCC3ar A C++ D H++ M+++ P+++ R++ T++++ W++ Z++ Sp+++ RLMC a cm+++ d++ e++ f++ h iwf++ j p* sm+

Long: Hi! I'm the person who writes the nice, fuzzy stories where two pleasant people engage in witty dialogue and then sleep together, and one of them has a knot. :D

Yes, I rock a hawaiian shirt in real life. Constantly. No, Robert Baird is not my real name. Yes, I am a pretty good-natured soul, which is why my stories are the way that they are. Yes, I like talking to people. I love writing, poetry, linguistics, mapmaking, history, music, gaming -- all kindsa things! Whee! Feel free to bother me about such things.

I write for a living (...not smut. Mostly.). I'm looking to practice, so -- critique, please! Just because I regard you in those scornful yellow eyes doesn't mean I don't love you! Besides, how else do we get to Carnegie Hall? Damned straight.

Are you a writer also? No? Well, why the hell not >:[

== Robert the Persona Thing ==

Robert Allen Baird is a coyote in his late 20s, utterly nondescript in most regards. Golden eyes, the color of the harvest moon as it rises over desolate fields, regard the world from behind thin glasses balanced on the bridge of a long, pointed muzzle. He has settled comfortably into the "(often tropical-themed) camp shirt and blue jeans" phase of his sartorial existence though, unlike many of his coyote kin, he does not always eschew the red bandanna accompaniment. Born in Baltimore, he moved early in his life to the high plains and desert of the American West, an environment for which he indulges a great and enduring love.

Good-natured, quick with a grin and a sardonic laugh, his taste in humor is the same as his taste in whiskey: wry. He leans towards the absurd, and the deadpan; often the only hint of this is a slight flick of one of those big pointy ears, and a twitching wag of his brushy tail. This is how he gets away with things, such as stealing fire from the gods and giving it to the cold, shivering people. It's one of maybe only two ways he knows of getting warm, and the other one is not safe for work ;)

He studied the social sciences at university, an educational background he refers to as having "majored in trivial pursuit," and now makes his living at the writing game. It doesn't pay well, but he enjoys it, because he is a hopelessly anachronistic 'yote, and if you cut him he bleeds red ink. Thusly does he sustain himself with the clatter of his battered old IBM Selectric II, the whispered ruffle of a style guide, the taste of coffee long since gone cold, and the smoke curling from unfiltered Gauloises. (character art courtesy of the fantastically talented Heather Rose Dresbach)

Rob likes coffee, and rye whiskey, and the music of Django Reinhardt and David Grisman. He also likes the golden age of science fiction, and reminiscing about weird geeky things like radios and shipwrecks and aviation. And he likes chatting about such things with awesome people, such as y'all. Yeah.

species Coyote!
gender male from Berlin (du bist so wunderbar), Germany
loves Big Band, Bluegrass, Canine likes Domination/Submission, Fantasy, First Time hates Personal Redemption, Sea World
58 submissions 90,201 page views 1,243 comments received 352 comments posted 24,346 profile views
groups   Wolf Furries
  Canine Furries
  Male Human x Female Furry

Latest Journal posted 01 Apr 2014

No. Not that. I don't know the meaning of April Fools >:[

Anyway! Hello hello, my friends! It being April 1st, and therefore a couple of weeks since I talked in your general direction, just some things I want to cover...

FWA was amazing

The writing track at FWA was quite well attended, even though we got stuck in awkward timeslots. Big thanks to everyone who made it out at 8 friggin' PM, when sensible people are drinking. But I had a blast. Got to hang out with such phenomenal people as De Rigueur, Golden Fox, Rechan, Sxizi, Spudz, Tank Jaeger, and people whose names I am probably forgetting >.> Sorry.

The theme of this year being "Furry University," I resolved to have some diplomas printed up, for the purposes of encouraging everyone to attend the entire writing track. You can see an example here, courtesy of Dyne Solweaver, who was a star pupil. I also handed out chocolate. I'm not sure which kept people around more, but I mean. Chocolate and diploma mills, it's l...

Latest Stories

Latest Artwork


JelliQal 1 month ago
Enjoyed meeting you at FWA 2014. Thanks for your insights. - Jelliqal
Robert Baird 1 month ago
Hey! Thanks for coming to the panels! It was great meeting you and I hope you stick around SF!
JelliQal 3 weeks ago
Had a great time. Hope to see you again next year. Sehr Gutte.
colorado 1 month ago
Looking forward to hearing your panels at FWA!
hyenakona 1 month ago
I really, really love your novel-length stuff!
It all ended up in my kindle, which is great because I read it all comfortably and in a variety of strange public places, but is not great because it meant I didn't get to leave novel-length comments full of gush and appreciation. I'm going to fix that, because I'm craving a good re-read.
What I'm saying is, thank you for writing, and thank you for sharing it. :)
Robert Baird 1 month ago
:) Thanks so much for the kind note! I need to work more on long-form stuff but it's such a damned investment...

I don't know how easy it is to move arbitrary stuff to Kindle. Let me know if you want stuff compiled into .mobi -- Scrivener does that really easily, it's just not something there's been huge demand for in the past so I stopped linking to it.
hyenakona 4 weeks ago
Any old format is fine, I sort of enjoy the anticipation-building ritual of running it through a format converter anyway.

Speaking of ebooks, is Matters Out of Place still available? Please? ^.^
Nalz 3 months ago
Hey Rob, I got a question for you. When you made your eBook anthology, what program(s) did you use to create/compile it into .mobi and other eBook formats?
Robert Baird 3 months ago
Hey -- Scrivener, by the Literature and Latte folks. It's crossplatform, but I can only speak to its efficacy on Mac OSX.
Nalz 3 months ago
I've used the trial a bit here and there, I knew I could do PDFs with it, but didn't realize it could to Ebook formats as well. Thanks.
Robert Baird 3 months ago
It'll do .epub out of the box; for mobipocket you need to download Amazon's KindleGen, linked from this page:
Nalz 3 months ago
Noice. Have you tried KindlePreviewer?
Robert Baird 3 months ago
I have not, no. I bought Scrivener for other reasons and only discovered that it would compile later, as a nice benefit. But consequently have had no real cause to change.
Nalz 3 months ago
It's just a viewer to make sure it'll look right, but it also auto-converts epub to mobi. The only thing I've disliked about Scrivener is it seems to refuse to do what I say when it comes to margins in .pdfs. Even when I adjust them it doesn't comply. It does with NEW projects, but not when you copy/paste something in. Quite annoying.
baybee 3 months ago
I must commend you on your Cry Havoc! series, it was thoroughly enjoyable. Keep up the good work.
De Rigueur 7 months ago
What happens when two coyotes push each other?

Space/time rift?
Robert Baird 7 months ago
I think that's just how you get more coyotes, man.
De Rigueur 7 months ago
Are you sure you want to do this, Rob? Coyotes are very <checks the wordcloud> personality, spiritual, connection, traits, and of course, LIKE.

Boco no mo?
Robert Baird 7 months ago
I think you'll find they're "red trickster canines really around spirit native share matches". And that is a phrase I have used to describe myself on my resume, even. So sure.

I'm a very personality spiritual person, senator.
Nalz 8 months ago
Hey, I came across this series of books randomly and was reading the synopsis and was like "horey sheeit, sounds familiar!"

I'm guessing you've read this series and it served as a bit of an inspiration?
Robert Baird 7 months ago
Ah, damn!

No, I haven't read them ;) The truth is of course that, as furry origin tropes go, "genetically engineered human assistants" is about the oldest and the tiredest, and making them super soldiers specifically is one of the leading ones (you know, beyond sex).

My chief inspirations were Haldeman for the setting and the military aside, and probably honestly Cordwainer Smith for the moreaus themselves. I went with 'moreau' because in the first story the tension with "trying to be human" was a lot clearer, and also I didn't want to call 'em "furries." :P

Is it a good series?
Nalz 7 months ago
I haven't read it, I just came across it through something else. It made me think of your series because the anthros are specifically called "moreau's" as well. I'm super happy you've read Haldeman. The Forever War is one of my favorite books, though I haven't really read anything else by him.
Scarletwolf 7 months ago
I read that series quite a while back, and thought it was good. The ideas of human/moreau society, alien control of the government, with the detective viewpoint worked well. Should be able to pick 'em up off ebay fairly cheap.
skullysilverwolf 10 months ago
I spent a good few hours reading some of your stories and I am greatly enthralled by many of your works. Coherent, compelling, and overall captivating. Keep up the good work, I hope to see much more from you in the future.
Nachtfangen 1 year ago
Honestly... I can't get enough of your stuff. It's well written, with some deep characters and deeper settings. Love how you've balanced the moreaus on the razor's edge of wage slavery... sorta like the normal wage earner in our society!
Robert Baird 1 year ago
I do kind of lean in that direction, I admit, because I think it's an interesting tension. icon_biggrin.gif I'm glad you like it, man. You may or may not recognize some influences from your own writing, from which I took a little inspiration.