I'm a pirate. No seriously! Hear me out!
Raccoon's are notorious thieves, right? We even have masks! And Otters love the water. I mean, come on, we're even separated by "river" and "sea" varieties! It's in our NAME!
So, an ottercoon (that's me) would just naturally be a sea-fairing thief! A pirate!
Doesn't necessarily make me a good one, though...
I work in retail.
I'm working now: Thanksgiving night.
And the Christmas music has officially begun.
Dear sweet Jebus, no.