Why is it that I never write these things except when I'm depressed or feeling down? Why is it that my mate is laying not a foot away but I can't find the words to talk? Why is it that permenant solutions to temporary problems are a horrible thing so we are left chasing temporary solutions for permant problems? Why is it that I have a half dozen stories running through my mind, blotting out eveyrhting else but the bad, and they all hide when I sit down to write? Why is it that my laptop is staring at me with glowing blue eyes? Why is it that I will be judged by the people who know me based on the opinions of someone who never met me? Why do I have one failed marriage, 3 failed engagements, 2 submissives that are gone, a dominant who i walked away from and gods knows how many failed relationships of all kinds, but still can't remember to Fucking Talk, and yet I can remember how to strip, clean and operate a rifle I havn't touched in ten years? Why do I ask so many useless questions in public places?