Here is the long awaited Chapter 14 of Can't Take My Eyes Off You. (maybe) Sorry it took so long, it just didn't really come to me like it has in other chapters. I'd also like to thank my wonderful editors, Chromowolf and Phant Dragor. You guys are awesome! Enjoy. :)
Someimes, the easiest choice isn't the best, but it looks better than the alternative.
My paws were shaking as I waited for an answer, any type of response. The silence was agonizing, but at the very least, he deserved to think. When he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, like he didn't want someone to overhear his conversation.
"Kausn, I love you so much right now. But................. I can't get to you."
"Why not?" I was slightly taken aback by what he said. I figured he'd be so happy; he'd drop everything and run into my arms.
"Well, because of..........him."
"Alex? Seigi, tell me what's happening. Is he holding you against your will?" I was starting to panic slightly, because I knew Alex had beaten Seigi before. I wasn't sure what he was capable of.
"Well.............." I heard footsteps in the background, growing closer. A voice I couldn't make out spoke, but I was sure it was Alex. Seigi responded to the voice. "No, I was just talking. Wait............please, no................" The last part came out as a whimper, and suddenly I heard crackling. I assumed that the phone had changed hands. I heard some mumbling, and was able to pick out my name. When the next voice spoke, the fur on the back of my neck stood up and I started a low growl.
"Well well well, what do we have here? Seigi's past lover trying to repair the relationship that I ended? Well too bad Kausn, because he's mine now."
"I swear, if you do ANYTHING to him, I'll........." I growled. He cut me off in mid-sentence.
"You'll what, Kasun? Come here and take him from me? Beat me up? You don't have the balls to do it. You're not a real man. You're nothing but a pussy."
"What makes a man other than a dick and balls?" I growled back in reply.
"How they act. You're an emotional faggot who will never be a man."
"And what about you? You go around fucking guys. That doesn't make you a faggot?"
"I don't care who I'm with, as long as I have a warm hole to pound. I have no emotional connection to my property. Now, let me get back to what I was doing before; and just for you, I'll leave the phone on so you can listen to what I do for Seigi." I heard the phone being set down and then I heard whimpers. What happened next made me almost want to vomit.
"Come here, bitch. Let me give you a pounding you'll never forget."
"No, Alex, please. Don't......ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" I heard the sound of slapping, and I knew exactly what was going on. I almost lost my lunch at the thought of it.
"You like that big Fox cock in you, don't you, bitch! You like it rough?!"
"Kausn............. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!" I heard Seigi start to sob, and that was too much. I hung up the phone, frantically running around the suite to grab everything I would need. I was already out the door and running down the hall when I pulled out my cell phone and called Mr. Wolfe.
"Mr. Wolfe, its Kausn. I need a car as soon as possible. It's an emergency."
"Why? What's happening?"
"It's Seigi. He's being hurt. Badly. I need to get him out." I hung up; already out of the hotel and running to the Wolfe Records building. With every step I took, I knew that Seigi was getting into deeper trouble. I just hoped I could make it before something really bad happened. I shook the thoughts out of my head, focusing on getting to my destination.
It took me about 5 minutes to get to the Wolfe Records building, and I almost hit the pavement about 10 times. I was relieved to see a car running and waiting for me in the parking lot. I ran up to a waiting Mr. Wolfe, standing by the car, who had a look of concern on his face.
"Kausn, you need to tell me what's going on."
"Seigi is being held against his will by someone. He's also being...." I couldn't finish the sentence, but Mr. Wolfe seemed to understand. He pulled out his cell phone, but I put a paw on it, pulling it down. "I have a better way to take care of the bastard. I can handle it."
"Are you sure? At the very least, let me come with you."
"Ok, fine. Get in the car." We both got in and I tore out of the parking lot.
"Mr. Wolfe, activate the GPS on my phone and track Seigi's phone. I have my phone programmed to track his phone, like a parent tracking a child. I need to know where he is.' I gripped the steering wheel for all it's worth; hoping that somehow it would get me to where Seigi was faster. Mr. Wolfe pulled out my phone, and after a little fumbling around, managed to track Seigi's phone.
"It says he's at.........." Mr. Wolfe paused for a second.
"What?" I didn't want to take my eyes off the road, but I wanted badly to read his expression. My heart was pounding in my chest, ready to burst.
"It says he's in the hotel where you were staying."
"What?!?!?" I screamed and pounded my paws into the steering wheel in frustration. I scanned for the nearest parking lot, peeling into the first one I found, doing a complete U- turn, and peeled back out of it. In my little maneuver, I managed to cut off about 10 cars, but right now, I didn't care about all of the angry drivers after me. Right now, my mind was focused on Seigi.
"Mr. Wolfe, hand me my phone." He handed me my phone and I scanned my contacts, trying to find the name I needed. I finally found it and pressed send, hoping that the other line would answer. When I reached a red light, the line finally clicked and a voice came over the line.
'Dr. Dan! It's Kausn. Look, this is an emergency. I need to ask you a question."
"What is that?"
"Do you do vasectomies?" He was silent for a moment, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mr. Wolfe shaking his head.
"Because I need to get revenge on someone." The line was silent for another moment as the light turned green. I sped away, less than a block from the hotel. When he spoke again, his voice was slightly agitated, but there was a little bit of humor behind it.
"Kausn, I will not give someone a vasectomy against their will. Do you know how illegal that is? No, I'm not going to do it. It's a funny thought, but you'd have to get someone pretty crazy to do that. If Seigi is in trouble with this guy, then call the cops. Don't try to handle it yourself. You'll only end up making things worse."
"How did you..?" He cut me off in mid-sentence.
"Kausn, do you think I live under a rock? Almost everyone knows about your split and the Press is having a field day on it. I need to go. Good bye, Kausn, and please, let the authorities handle it." He hung up, and I put the phone down as we pulled into the hotel parking lot. I parked the car and jumped out, running up to the hotel. I heard footsteps behind me; Mr. Wolfe was close behind. I burst through the main doors, ignoring all the looks I received as I ran through the lobby. I ran up to the receptionist's desk, panting as I rested an arm on the counter. She gave me a funny look, but she couldn't ignore me.
"May I help you?"
"Yes. What room is Seigi Reeyes in?" She sighed and glanced at her computer and then back up at me.
"He's in Room 58, second floor."
"Thank you." I ran away from the desk and up the stairs, ignoring the calls from the receptionist to slow down and to stop where I was. Doors whizzed by, and I kept checking the numbers, knowing I was getting close to my destination. When I finally came upon the door, I stopped for a brief moment, catching my breath and bolstering my courage. Mr. Wolfe came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. That gave me the courage I needed.
I lashed out at the door, using all my strength to kick it inwards. I heard a satisfying crack as the door separated from its hinges, flying into the hotel room. I glanced around, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I noticed nothing out of place in the hotel room. Everything seemed to be exactly where it was supposed to be. It was all too perfect. I had no time to question it, as the next thing I heard was a stifled yelp coming behind a closed door. I ran over to the door; Mr. Wolfe was right behind me, ready to back me up. I reached the door and grabbed the knob with a shaking paw, flinging the door open. I knew what I would find behind the door, but I wasn't prepared for it in any sense. The scene that lay before me was one that only my nightmares could hold. Seigi was pinned under Alex, his paws tied behind his back. Alex was tied into Seigi, trying desperately to pull out, making Seigi sob harder every time he tried to pull out. Seigi's muzzle was matted with tears, his head down in defeat. My paws reacted before my mind did. Just as Alex pulled free from Seigi with an audible pop, my paw connected with Alex's muzzle, producing a sickening cracking sound. Alex crumpled to the floor almost instantly, hitting the floor with a loud thud. My thoughts were clouded by rage as my foot-paw connected with his stomach a total of about 10 times. I was finally snapped out of my fit of rage when a hand grasped my shoulder and pulled me away. I stood there for a moment, watching Mr. Wolfe tie Alex's paws with the rope that had been holding Seigi. At that moment, I returned from my haze of anger, crashing down back to earth.
I ran over to my wolf, who had collapsed onto the floor in a fit of tears. I lay down next to him, wrapping him into my arms. He continued to sob as I slowly stroked his chest fur, whispering into his ear.
"I'm here Seigi. Everything is going to be alright now. Shhhh. I'm here for you."
We stayed like this for what seemed like hours, his sobs decreasing steadily until all that was left was some sniffling. I pulled him close to me, trying to provide all of the comfort I could give him. I felt tears in my eyes, closing them to try and stop the crying but to no avail. Tear after tear fell from my eyes as I held Seigi close. I felt totally helpless; knowing that what had been done is done.
My emotions were running rampant, but I wasn't feeling nearly as bad as I knew Seigi was. I hated to see him so defenseless. It broke my heart to see the person I loved lying on the floor crying until there were no tears left. Soon enough, I heard what sounded like police officers rush into the room. I heard the sound of something heavy being dragged across the floor, and I felt something fall onto my shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked up, and through my haze, I saw an officer standing above me. His facial expression told me that he hadn't had a lot of interaction with furs, and he seemed unsure of what to do. When he spoke, his voice was commanding, but there was a hint of nervousness in there.
"Sir, could you and your partner here please stand up?" He gestured towards Seigi. After a moment more of holding my love, I reluctantly complied, standing up and helping Seigi to his paws. We stood in front of the officer, both of us clearly shaken. The officer didn't know what to think of our appearance, and then something seemed to click.
"You guys are that rising country band, aren't you?"
I nodded my head solemnly, wanting to get this over with. Right now, all that was on my mind was Seigi and how I really needed to just be a shoulder to cry on. I didn't need all these pleasantries.
"Sorry, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
I glared at him, in my head shouting, 'And you think we were comfortable before?!?1?!? My lover just got FUCKING RAPED!!!!!!' It took a lot to control my emotions, but my brain got the better of my emotions. He continued to speak, my glare seeming to throw him off. Clearly, he was new at this, even though he seemed slightly over 30.
"Ok, well, I'm going to need this fellow here to come with me to the station. First, we're going to stop by the hospital and acquire DNA evidence and make sure you're doing ok, and then we'll go to the station to ask you some questions."
Seigi looked at me, and back at the officer. He spoke in an extremely hushed voice, almost to the point where I couldn't hear him.
"I'm not going to be pressing charges. Now, please, let me leave." He left my side and pushed past the officer, disappearing out the door. The officer was about to go after him, but I put a paw on his shoulder to prevent him.
"Officer, please, give him a break. He was just raped by someone he thought he loved. He needs some time to recover. I'll make sure to try and get him to the hospital. Please, let him be."
The officer eyed me suspiciously, as if I was trying to hide something.
"I can't just do that. That fox was a criminal, and he needs to be treated as such. We don't need either of you to testify; we just need DNA evidence to convict him."
"Listen, I'll do my best, but I can't promise you anything. Seigi can be a very stubborn person. Not to mention how much emotional and physical pain he's in right now. I'll try, but I can't make any promises."
The officer let out a long, heavy sigh. "Fine. But without that DNA evidence, we don't have a case. Do your best."
The officer walked out, leaving me alone in this cursed place. I took one last look around, and walked out in disgust. I can't believe someone would take advantage of him like that. At least now, we can start the recovery process.
I walked down the hallway and out to the reception area, where Seigi and Mr. Wolfe were seemingly waiting for me. I saw that Seigi had cleaned himself of any remnants of what had happened, but I was sure that some type of DNA evidence was still there somewhere. I walked up to both of them and wrapped Seigi in a hug. Much to my surprise, Seigi pushed me away. I backed up in surprise, feeling slightly hurt. I could understand that he was emotionally distressed, but I had no idea just how deeply it ran. He looked at me with eyes that weren't his. They were eyes of someone who had just been raped and no longer trusted anyone. He spoke, and I went stiff. His words seemed to pierce my soul, cutting it up and leaving the pieces behind.
"Kausn, I need some time to myself. It's going to take a long time to get over this. I don't want a relationship after this. I'm not sure if I'll ever want one again. Please, I hope you understand, Kausn. It's not that I don't love you, but this is just too emotionally scarring. I don't want to be close to anyone right now."
My jaw was wide open, and I'm sure I looked like an idiot standing in the middle of a hotel lobby, but I didn't care. When I finally found words, they were the words of someone else. If my mind was conscious, I would have never said what I said next.
"I just rescued you, and this is how you repay me? Fine. Leave me alone again. This time, don't come back. I don't want to see you ever again! You've already caused me enough pain. I don't need anymore of this shit." I spun around and walked towards my room. Behind me, I heard more sobbing, but it didn't stop me. When I finally got up to my room, the realization of what I said hit me as I walked through the door. My eyes started welling up with tears as sadness and self-loathing took over.
I ran back to the lobby, hoping to catch either Mr. Wolfe of Seigi. I ran back down there at full speed, the weight of what I said catching up to me. God, I really fucked this up. I have to make things right. I turned the final corner to the lobby and stopped in my tracks looking around. To my dismay, both Mr. Wolfe and Seigi were no where to be found.
Night after night, I tried to call Seigi. Every night, I got nothing but voicemail. This time, I knew I was the one that fucked everything up, but I didn't resort to what I had before. I did drink, but it was never enough to make me forget about Seigi, just enough to lessen the pain. The date of the Daytona 500 was almost upon me, and I wasn't really looking forward to it. Nothing about my life was worth anything anymore. The only thing I had left was music, and even that seemed to be slipping away from me. I kept getting constant calls from Mr. Wolfe, each one telling me in some way or another that I needed to release another song. "Answer Me" had stalled on the charts, and Mr. Wolfe thought that putting out another song would basically give me a shot in the arm. Two nights before the Daytona 500, Mr. Wolfe called me, and instead of the nice, laid back person I was used to working with, I was greeted with a very irritated, very angry man that wasn't afraid to threaten me to get what he wants.
"Kausn, you need to get your act together. Stop moping around. You need to get your ass in gear and start making music; otherwise you give me no choice. If you don't get me a demo of a new song by the day after the Daytona 500, I will have no choice to release you from Wolfe Records. Do you understand me, Kausn?" I started at the phone, speechless. When I found my words, they were once again the words of someone else. It would have been better just to keep my mouth shut.
"Mr. Wolfe, I'm sick of this. Fire me; see if I give a shit. Right now, I'm not even in control of my own life. You expect me to just drop everything, write a song, and pretend like everything is just peachy? Fat chance at that." I instantly regretted what I had said. It probably just cost me my musical career. I tried to tell Mr. Wolfe that I was sorry for what I said, but before I got the chance, he spoke.
"That's it Kausn. I want you to get your ass down here this minute. You're going to hold a press conference, and you are going to tell the world what happened. Maybe then you'll realize that it isn't all about you. Now, get down here, or you're fired."
The line went dead, and I held the phone to my ear for a moment as I let what he had just said sink in. Tell the whole world about my problems. Now, why would I do that? I don't want the press in on my personal life. Why would I tell anyone what's going on. I still didn't understand what this was supposed to accomplish as I arrived at the Wolfe Records building. I walked up to the floor where I was needed, and headed straight for Mr. Wolfe's office. Before I got there though, I was intercepted by one of his secretaries.
"This way, Kausn."
I was directed to a door labeled 'Media', and before I could protest, it opened and I was shoved into bright lights and cameras. The first thought that crossed my mind was 'How the hell did he get all these people here this fast? He must have had people on call.' I was directed to a stage with a white table, a chair, and a microphone sitting in the middle of the table. I sat down in the chair, observing the entire scene in front of me. There were about 25 reporters in front of me, each with either a television camera or a pad of paper and a pencil. After I was seated, a sea of hands went up in the air, each reporter calling my name. It was an overwhelming experience. I felt like I wanted to slink down into my chair and disappear from view. Sadly, I could not do that, so I was forced to answer the questions of the reports in front of me. I pointed to someone in the back, a man with a camera that said News 4 on the side of it.
"You, with Station 4."
"Yes, I am John Gordon with Station 4 News, and I want to know what is going on with your relationship status. Are you and Seigi still together, and will you still be working together musically?"
I took a deep breath. I expected this question to come up, but I didn't expect it to be the question that started it all off. I felt completely helpless; my head swimming in a cloud of confusion. When I finally decided I had an answer, everyone in the room was staring at me expectantly. I took a deep breath and spoke. What I said next, the whole country would hear.
"Seigi and I are currently separated for reasons that, frankly, make perfect sense to me. I was a complete ass about things that happened to him, and I abandoned him when he needed me the most. As of current, we are not working together musically, but I hope that we will work together in the future."
Pencils wrote furiously and all cameras were on me. When I finished, more hands shot up in the air, but one hand stuck out. I looked over to the reporter in the front row, a German Shepherd, the only fur in the room. I picked him, and the voice that came from his mouth was one I never expected to come from a Shepherd like that. The voice I heard was very girly, and had a slight lisp to it. It didn't match his appearance at all.
"Yes, I am David Hendricks for News Channel 8, and my question is how have you dealt with your relationship problems? Any advice for people struggling with a similar situation?"
I thought about my answer for a moment, but I instead just decided to show them. I stood up and pulled back the arm of my sweatshirt, revealing what was engraved in my arm. I showed my arm to the audience. Most of them were wide eyed. I heard a few gasps, and one person even had to sit down. I pulled my sweatshirt back over my arm and sat back down. I turned back to the Shepherd, speaking in a tone that would have scared anyone senseless.
"That was how I dealt with my relationship problems. I cut Seigi's name into my arm, leaving what I believe to be a permanent scar. I also drank, didn't eat, and when I did eat, I vomited it back up later. I became Bulimic, anorexic, an alcoholic, and a cutter all in the matter of days. My advice is don't do what I did. Don't blame yourself for something that you can't control. Any more questions?"
The whole room seemed stunned, the silence becoming deafening. Finally, someone reluctantly raised their hand, and I pointed at them. They were a little hesitant to speak at first, but soon, that was overcome.
"I'm Daniel Ford from Channel 17 News, and my question is what exactly happened to your relationship with Seigi?"
I sighed. I really didn't want to answer this question, but I felt obligated to. I spoke, choosing my words carefully, as what I said could affect either Seigi or I in a negative way.
"Seigi met someone who he thought was better than me. He left me for him. He came by where I was staying about three days ago to tell me that he wanted me back. I kicked him out, and soon resorted to the things I had previously stated. Then, a breakthrough was made by one of my band members. I knew that I needed to forgive Seigi. So I called him up, and told him that I wanted him back. In the middle of that conversation, he was interrupted by the person he left me for. That fox proceeded to rape him, and I had to go save him. Yes, Seigi was raped, and I heard a lot of it. I rushed over to save him. We ended up getting that Fox arrested, but Seigi refused to press charges. After the incident, he told me that he didn't want a relationship at the moment. Of course, I totally treated him like a complete asshole. Now, I'm not quite sure where we stand. All I know is that I deeply regret what happened and I hope that we can work this out. Is there any more questions?"
Not a soul in the room moved. I knew I probably said too much, but I hoped I wouldn't feel the repercussions later. When no one moved for over 30 seconds, I stood up out of my chair and prepared to leave. I was stopped when someone called out my name. I looked around the room, and I finally found who had called it. A scrawny journalist stood in the corner, looking at me hopefully. I sat back down and looked at him, waiting for his question. When he spoke, I could tell by the way he was fidgeting that it was his first day on the job.
"Kausn, I'm Tim Kelley from The NY Press, and I was wondering, why do you still love Seigi? He seems to have betrayed you numerous times, and yet you still want him. Why?"
The question caught me completely off guard. I stuttered for a few moments before I finally found words. I don't know what compelled me to do so, but I told the entire truth.
"In truth, I don't really know why I still love him. Maybe it's because I've been friends with him too long to let it go to waste, but I don't really know. There's something about him I can't resist. He may not be perfect, but if he was, then he wouldn't be human. Or, Furry, in this case. He does something to me every time I see him. I end up getting lost in something, whether it is his eyes, his fur, or his smile. Everything about him just does something to me."
I sigh, picturing Seigi in my mind. I was snapped back to reality when I hear my name being called out. I look around, but every reporter in the room is silent. I look to my left, and it's then that I see Mr. Wolfe standing there. He beckons me over to him. I stand up and walk over to him, but not before I trip and fall off the stage. I hit the ground hard, and I lay there for a second, more out of embarrassment than pain. After a moment, I scramble to my feet, but not before pictures of my falling are taken. I smile and try to play it off, but my smile falters when most of the reports start to laugh. I rush out of the media room, the fur around my muzzle glowing a shade of red.
When I'm out of the room, I lean on the wall and sink down it until I'm sitting on the ground. I put my muzzle into my paws, but it's not because I'm trying to hide tears or embarrassment. I sit there and do something that I haven't done in a while; I sit there and just think. My thoughts wander, traveling from the moment Seigi and I first kissed all the way until I left Seigi to bathe in his tears in that hotel lobby. It broke my heart to see Seigi in any sort of pain, and now, I wasn't sure if I'd ever see him again. The tears never came, but the regret hit me like a brick wall. I didn't want to see Seigi hurt, but I had hurt him more than Alex ever could. Instead of understanding it, instead of accepting what needed to happen, I was a complete ass, thinking only of myself.
I pulled back the sleeve of my sweatshirt to reveal Seigi's name. The blood had long since been washed out of my fur, but you could still see the name that was engraved below my white fur. I looked at it for a moment more before I pulled my sleeve back over it. Because of my stupidity, I probably won't be able to wear a T-Shirt ever again. I'm stuck covering up my mistakes. I sat there for a moment longer, thinking about the road I took to get here. A road of shame. I thought to myself.
Out of the blue, I had an idea. It was one of those rare moments when you realize that what you said basically sums up your life. And one of those moments that would make a perfect song. With all of the pressure coming from Mr. Wolfe, it was no surprise that this had popped up in my head. I heard footsteps walking away and I assumed it was Mr. Wolfe. When the footsteps faded out of earshot, I got up and made my way to the recording room. I had a chord pattern stuck in my head for days, but I couldn't put any lyrics to it, at least, not up until now. I got into the recording room, grabbed a guitar from the wall and sat down on the couch. It took me a second, but I finally realized what guitar I grabbed. I grabbed the guitar that I had used that first night, the one that I had written Answer Me on. That Red J-200 was the last thing I really had of my past. It was the last thing I had that reminded me of better times. A single tear rolled from my eye as I thought of how it all had changed in such a short time. My little reflection time didn't last long though as I came back to what I came here to do. I picked up the guitar and started to play the chord progression I couldn't get out of my head. Soon enough I had a melody in my head, and I needed to put words to it. I thought about it for a second, but I realized that I already had the words. I started the chord progression back up, and the words rolled off my tongue like I had sung these words a million times.
So I drive all alone,
Down this road of shame.
Don't know what I did, to deserve this,
But it must have been wrong.
After about a half an hour, I had an entire song written. It wasn't much, but the words in it made me tear up. This was probably the most personal song I had written to date. I typed up the entire thing, but I still didn't have a name for it. I was skimming the song, looking for a name, when two words popped out at me. "Better Places." They were in the bridge, and it wasn't uncommon for a song to be named by lyrics in the bridge, so that's the name I slapped on top of the page. I quickly printed the lyrics off, packed up the guitar in one of the cases, and headed out the door. I wasn't really in the mood to run into anyone, even though I had just finished the song I needed to have. I wasn't going to reveal it to Mr. Wolfe just yet, though. I was going to reveal it at the Daytona 500. Instead of Answer Me, I was going to do this song, and then I would perform 'Easy'. I was lucky that someone had made a breakthrough on me when they did; otherwise, I would still be living a life that would kill me.
I made it to my hotel room just a little past midnight with the Daytona 500 a little more than 24 hours away. I put my card into the door, but not before I saw a little sticky note on it. I plucked it off and proceeded to read it.
It's going to take me a long time to get over this. What you said hurt, but what you didn't say cut the deepest. Please, stop calling me. I need time to think.
My paw enclosed around the note. I vowed to myself then that I would give Seigi all the space he needed. I wasn't sad about this, no. I was long past that. What the sadness left was an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I collapsed on my bed that night, two things running through my mind. My new song, and Seigi. Of course, Seigi was the one that put butterflies in my stomach. The last thought that crossed my mind before I drifted off into sleep is that I would possibly never see him again. That thought alone was enough to make me sob uncontrollably. I cried myself to sleep that night, not wanting to see the light of the early morning the next day. It just meant another day that I was without Seigi.