21 Feb 2012

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Posted 21 Feb 2012 06:03
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European Motor Racing and Its Various Benefits

So the other day I was sitting on my couch and decided to do something that I have not done for a while:  Watch TV.  See, with the internet having such a profound and increasing effect on our generation, TV has become rather ignored, now only being watched by those who either do not have internet or simply don't know what it is.  

So I was sitting there watching TV, which is sort of like the internet except for that you cannot skip the commercials and actually do have to pay for the porn, idly thumbing through the channels (when you hit the ones that are in different languages then you know that you've really gone past the point of no return), when I flipped onto something that I have not ever really seen before:  European motor racing.

See, European motor racing is different from American motor racing in that watching it does not automatically make you look like a total redneck, and also the steering wheels are on the other side of the car which I find very amusing for almost no reason at all.  The races are also often commentated in different languages, which as an American I have not bothered myself to learn.  This is entertaining because quite frankly, its pretty hilarious to hear a man yelling in a different language and screaming something that sounds vaguely like 'motherf*****' whenever a lap in the race is completed.  

There was also a crash in the race I was watching and that gave me the opportunity to witness another difference between American and European racing.  In American racing if a car crashes then the competition speeds right past the guy (unless he's in their way, in that case they swerve), but in the race I was watching the first guy to catch up with the crash victim actually stopped, got out, and started chatting with the guy as the other racers drove carefully past, each asking if the guy was alright before continuing on.  It was very touching, at least until the man's vehicle exploded into flames and made that part of the track impassable for a good ten minutes.  Of course most of that time was spent on a commercial break, which brings me to another benefit of European motor racing.

The commercials are pretty hilarious.  It might just be because they are in another language but they are also alot stranger and funner to watch than your average commercial you see here in the states.  As a result of this I am making a rule:  the further east you go in the world, the weirder the commercials get.  This makes sense because if you start with America and go east then Japan is the last country before you hit America again and complete the cycle.  And we all know how mind tinglingly strange Japanese commercials are...

But anyhow.  By the time the commercials ended and I lost the stupid smile I had on my face while watching them the fire was out and the man's burnt out racing vehicle had been towed away where it wouldn't impede the race any further.  The racing commentator started getting super enthusiastic at this point and I realized with a twinge of sadness that the race was entering the home stretch and that soon my unexpectedly awesome encounter with European motor racing would come to an end.  But as the cars went across the finish and the commentator yelled out what sounded like 'motherf*****' again, I turned off the TV and went back to the internet.  How empty and barren it seemed.  Dick jokes and bad vlogs as far as the eye could see...

At this point I then remembered I was on the internet and that unlike the TV it had a search bar on it and thus I could navigate myself away from the vlogs and towards more European motor racing.  And so I did.  

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go check out what Asian motor racing looks like.    

ArcticWolf451 2 years ago 1
Asian motor racing? Ever seen a senior center parking lot when word gets out that Wal-Mart's have a 2 for 1 sale on Metamucil?