Suicide and Saturday's Plans.
Sorry that I haven't been exactly active lately... Thursday morning a friend of mine killed himself... and I still haven't gotten over it. I only knew him for a short few months, and only actually started to get close to him the past two weeks before his death, but it feels like I lost a best friend.
We had talked frequently over skype, and our conversations were always without censorship. we never shied away from a topic, no matter how awkward it would be. I even came out to him... which only 4 of my really close friends knew at the time. He became the 5th.
He also knew i was a furry, and didn't judge me because of it. I even started to question myself if I was beginning to have feelings for him. Which I think given more time they would have developed. He was basicly me... kind caring and understanding, hard working, friendly, outgoing.
I was supposed to meet him on Saturday, Our Minecraft server was doing a 24 hour livestream... he was going to attend and play with us, meet us face to face for the first time...
He had just went through a tough rift with his girlfriend and his whole life had been pretty rough. I wish I could have gotten to know him sooner than I did. For then maybe I could have helped him more. Wednesday night as I was on a minecraft server playing with a bunch of friends and in a skype call, i didnt see the message on skype from him at 10 PM... that read.
"I love ya *mynamehere* :) you're a good person, and you're misunderstood. you don't deserve to live under the scrutiny of society. You're a good person, that gets sucked off of, and that gets hit and abused for their faults. You don't deserve that."
Maybe had I seen it and talked to him...
That night I went over a friends house between 12-1 AM and while there I considered giving him a call to see if he was doing ok, but i didnt because of how late it was...
That night he shot himself sometime between 1-3 AM...
Why do these things happen. why didnt I call him. Why didnt I see the message on skype. Why couldnt I have been there for him.
At a moments notice I would have driven to his house to be there for him. even though he lived almost an hour away.
I miss him so much.